so that wasnt chicken after all
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
