how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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