I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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