You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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