I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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