You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
