AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
