Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
