"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
