I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize