the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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