good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
