my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
