so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
