just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
