dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
