how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
