people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
