yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
