Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
