..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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