Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
