what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
