that's an acceptable place to lick
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
