I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
