Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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