hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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