doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
