WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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