i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
