Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
the liver wants what the liver wants
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
