my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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