it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
