Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I understand Curling. That high.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize