he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
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