Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
