and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
