I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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