i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
