if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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