"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
