also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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