ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
