Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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