Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
