It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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