I hate all girls vehemently.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
