its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
