im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
