Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
