i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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