yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
