My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize