i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
