I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
